i saw you after not seeing you or hearing your voice for two months and now i am aching and heavy and what hurt most was how it felt so cold and how you looked at me like you didn’t care so now i am dead. again.
Hospital is beyond lonely and it’s most likely sending me more crazy than being at home. I want to escape and run away now please.
I wanted to fight for you but i didn’t know how. I still want to fight for you. I wish i had given you some reason to stay. I wish i was enough to have made you want to stay.
I will never ever ever ever EVER see myself with anyone but her so i will never ever ever ever ever EVER be with anyone but her ever again. so i’m just going to wait forever and always even though she hates me and thinks i’m weird and ugly and not worth caring/thinking about ever. and i love her so fucking much and she is perfect to me and i have NEVER seen anyone more beautiful or gorgeous ever. and now i have to go to hospital and i hate it and they will try and make me continue to transition even though i hate myself no matter what and i’m drunk and i can feel myself beginning to dissociate at some point and who even cares and where the fuck is the scrapbook and bracelet and what is happening.
LOL puberty at 23 (0-16 weeks).
what even. the end. no more. shut up.
It’s getting harder and harder to stick around.
just fucking breathe.
How many people could I hurt in one fell swoop?
"I’m dealing with the aftermath of a really horrible breakup."
“What was so horrible about it?”
“Well, I was engaged. And now I’m not.”
I’m not anymore and I don’t know why. If someone could explain it to me, i would appreciate it very much. I would also appreciate someone making my personality and especially my body something worthy because this person that I am at the moment is worth nothing.
I now know what I have to do.
I should have given you a reason to stay.
your inexplicable leaving was literally breathtaking.
how can someone so beautiful - I still see her in that way - have made me feel so unworthy?